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I have been friends for more than 20 years, who has overcome numerous obstacles, which I admire. But, she's constantly blindsided by people. Her husband walked away, which came as an unexpected event. A lot of close acquaintances vanished at that point, because they seemed drawn to her husband. She was stunned by her deeply. She made more effort toward our bond, and must have understood better the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme In Relationships

Over the years, quite a few of her friends have drifted apart leaving her sure why. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, although she was highly competent, and she left unaware of why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

In recent times, we've both retired and are seeing each other more, however, I feel the part I play in the relationship feels one-sided. I start subjects and she changes them to things she cares about. In terms of politics, she has firm beliefs. I try to propose factchecking and alternate views.

She has been arranging a trip to a country I know well on several occasions and resided in for a while. I tried to offer personal experiences, but this was not welcomed. She essentially just desired my agreement with her choices. I recently ended four weeks there she hopes to catch up, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to be a friend that walks away without a word, yet I doubt she'll truly grasp the effect of how she acts on how I feel about myself. At this point, my state is pulling back. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

One option is to cut and run, but it is seldom the easy answer that we desire. Yet having a direct talk with the goal of resolution requires bravery and willingness on both your parts.

Professional advice indicates applying a effective method for resolving disputes:

"Step one involves describing what typically happens in your conversations. This needs to be as factual as possible and essentially an unbiased account. Step two is to tell the way it makes you feel. Ideally, there's no disagreement on this point. Emotions belong to you, naturally. Step three involves requesting how you are both will alter the dynamics in your relationship."

Keep in mind she too holds perspectives, thus requiring you to be prepared to listen to her. One effective method involves stating to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to listen without interrupting for a set time."

This can be impactful to encourage understanding.

Closing Considerations

This person may dismiss everything, as some people have a “survival narrative”: they maintain a narrative of their life they cannot release since their identity relies on it being the only thing they trust. It's tough because there's no easy route here, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might at first react this way before reflecting your perspective. And should a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have closure that you've been truthful.